Funny Corny Jokes Biography
Something similar to these that are funny
Two muscleheads meet one night at a bar, and over a few drinks begin loudly bragging to each other about their own bravado. As the night went on, so did the stories, progressively becoming more and more preposterous. The first man bragged about the time he pulled a tree down with his bare hands. The other bragged that he could crush a car into scrap metal with his fists. The first man argued back that he could do a handstand, and then jump high enough to slam dunk a basketball. The second man claimed he could bend over, grab his own ankles, and then pull himself upward into the air, high enough to vault the basketball hoop's backboard. Eventually, one of the bar's regulars had had enough of listening to the never ending one-upmanship, and decided to do something about it. He challenged the men to a test of strength.
He took them outside and, grabbing a brick from a nearby construction site, he explained the rules. "All you have to do is toss this brick into the air. If either of you toss it higher than I can, I'll pay for the winner's drinks tonight. If both of you toss it higher than I can, I'll pay for both of your drinks tonight and tomorrow's too. But if I win, you agree that you can never come back to this bar." The muscleheads agreed; they had nothing serious to lose and they would score free drinks. The challenger looked unassuming, and surely their strength would beat his anyways.
The first musclehead took the brick and launched it into the air. It stayed in the air for two minutes before it crashed back to the ground. The second musclehead took the brick and threw it as well. It stayed in the air for a whopping five minutes before coming back down. Then came the moment of truth. The challenger grabbed hold of the brick and launched it into the air with a fury unlike any other. The astonishing part was... the brick never came down.
What would you call this country if everyone had a pink car?
A pink carnation!
What do you call a camel with no humps?
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
Judge Judy to prostitute: 'So when did you realize you were raped?'
Prostitute, wiping away tears: 'When the check bounced.'
"Did you hear about the self-help group for compulsive talkers?
It's called On & On Anon. "
Did you hear about the florist who had two kids?
One's a budding genius and the other's a blooming idiot.
What do you get when you cross a duck and a rooster?
A bird that gets up at the quack of dawn
If you're an American when you go in the bathroom and an American when you come out what are you while you're in the bathroom?
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Man and a wife go to a German Restaurant, The waiter comes up to them and asks them what they would like to eat. The wife says she'll have the duck. Waiter says fine choice and for you sir? The man replies, I think I'll have the steak. The waiter then asks the man, How would you like it? Rare Meduim Well done or Jewish?
I know I know horrible.
What did the blind, deaf, paraplegic boy get for Christmas?
Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
The police. Your entire family was killed in a car wreck.
How do you stop a clown from smiling?
Hit it with an axe.
What's worse then finding a worm in your apple?
Being shot in the head
how do you make a mime yell?
throw a brick at his face.
How are a plum and a rabbit alike?
They're both purple, except for the rabbit.