Funny Short Jokes Biogrphy
Source (Google.com.pk)
Dad: Shame on you, Peter. Why did you hit your little
sister?
Peter: Well, Daddy, we were playing Adam and Eve with the
apple and all. Well, instead of tempting me with that apple, she ate the thing
herself!
“Mary, why did you kick your brother in the stomach?!
exclaimed the angry mother.
“It was pure accident, Mama. He turned around.”
“Mama, there’s a man at the door,” said little Johnny.
“He says he’s collecting for senior citizens. Do you think
we should hide Grandpa?”
Mrs. Peterson went to the doctor: “I’m terribly worried
about my boy. He thinks he’s a chicken.”
The doctor asked, “And how long has this been going on?”
“Almost a year,” Mrs. Peterson replied.
“Well for goodness sakes! Why didn’t you bring him to see me
sooner?”
“Because we needed the eggs!”
It was the end of the school year and Joey’s mother asked:
“And were the exam questions difficult?”
“They weren’t bad at all,” her son replied. “It was the
answers that gave me all the trouble.”
A family took a trip to Disney World. After three exhausting
days, they headed home. As they drove away, the son waved and said, “Goodbye,
Mickey.”
The daughter waved and said, “Goodbye, Minnie.”
The husband waved, rather weakly, and said, “Goodbye,
Money.”
One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver.
She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly
does so.
She says, “Anything you say can and will be held against
you.”
He replies “BREASTS.”
A Chinese man rings his boss, “Me no work I sick.”
Boss says, “When I’m sick, I make love with my wife. Try
that.”
Two hours later the Chinese man rings back, “Me better, you
got nice house.”
The following text messages were exchanged on a cold winters
day.
Wife: “Windows frozen.”
Husband: “Pour some warm water over them.”
Wife: “Computer completely screwed up now.”
A doctor says to his patient, “I have a bad news and a worse
news”.
“Oh dear, what’s the bad news?” – asks the patient.
The doctor replies, “You only have 24 hours to live.”
“That’s terrible,” said the patient. “How can the news
possibly be worse?”
The doctor replies, “I’ve been trying to contact you since
yesterday.”
Cousin Elly, who happens to be blonde, is the world’s worst
at getting instructions mixed up. When she got married her husband bought her
one of those fancy, electric coffee makers. It had all the latest gadgets on
it.
Salesman Riley carefully explained how everything worked;
how to plug it in, set the timer, go back to bed, and upon rising, the coffee
is ready.
A few weeks later Elly was back in the store and Riley asked
her how she liked the coffee maker.
“Wonderful!” she replied, “However, there’s one thing I
don’t understand. Why do I have to go to bed every time I want to make a pot of
coffee?”
Grandma and her little grandson were in the park picking up
ripe walnuts on a beautiful fall day. “These are the kind of nuts your Daddy
loves best,” she said.
The little boy replied, “Maybe he likes these things best
but the nuts I like are doughnuts!”
“Did God make you, Papa?”
“Yep! He certainly did.”
“And did He make me too?”
“Of course, He did.”
“Well, He’s certainly doing better as He goes along, isn’t
He?”
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