Thursday 12 December 2013

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners Biography

Source (Google.com.pk)
I saw a fat person wearing a sweatshirt with 'Guess' on it. I said 'Thyroid problem?'
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.
I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Motorists are asked to be on the lookout for 16 hardened criminals.
Well I was bullied at school, called all kinds of different names.But one day I turned to my bullies and said 'Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me', and it worked! From there on it was sticks and stones all the way.
My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.
S*x is like playing bridge: If you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbour said 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, six should be enough.'
If we aren't supposed to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before..
PETER KAY'S UNIVERSAL TRUTHS
Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
You never know where to look when eating a banana.
You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
SOME GREAT QUESTIONS BROUGHT TO YOU BY PETER KAY
Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?
Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'?
Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries have a 'use by' date?
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'llsqueeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?
What do people in China call their good quality plates?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
What do you call male ballerinas?
Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure.
Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Breasts don’t have eyes.
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing
How do you get a sweet 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools.o
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved
A day without sunshine is like, night
Born free, taxed to death
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened.
A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need i
What is faster Hot or cold? Hot, because you can catch a cold.

What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog? After a year, the dog is still excited to see you.
o O o

Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.
What’s the difference between a paycheck and a pen*s? You don’t have to beg your wife to blow your paycheck.
Love may be blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
Judge to prostitute: So when did you realize you were raped?
Prostitute, wiping away tears: When the check bounced.
Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.
When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
I say no to alcohol, it just doesn’t listen.
If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
Whenever I find the key to success, someone changes the lock.
Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick.
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
My birth certificate was a letter of apology that my dad got from the condom company…
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once.
Lottery: a tax on people who are bad at math
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
I just let my mind wander, and it didn’t come back
IRS: We’ve got what it takes to take what you have got.
I can handle pain until it hurts.
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
A bargain is something you don’t need at a price you can’t resist.
You cannot taste me, until you undress me. -Banana
You cannot eat me unless you lick me. -Ice-cream
You cannot play with me unless you blow me. -Balloon
You cannot eat me unless you spread me. -Butter
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience. O o
A day without smiling is a day wasted.
Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much more for them.
When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

Funny Jokes One Liners In Hindi For Adults In Urdu For Facebook To Text In English For Teenagers Images For Adults Dirty For Kids In Hinid

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